High On Altitude

Calling all snowriders, plankers, ski bums, park rats, snow bunnies… You get my drift. All punns intended. With temperatures falling quicker than two lesbians moving in together (hashtag Uhaul) the time has come to frequent the interweb equipped with an endless supply of caffeine and Deadmau5 on repeat to find the MOTHER of all snow holidays. It can be tricky to cater for all needs, from the “first lifts” of the group, to the alcoholics, the veggies, the teachers, the snow virgins and those who “totally need a park man”. And a hospital no doubt. But I have taken precious time out from my girlfriend (jokes babe, jokes) to share with you all, three “reasonably priced , high chance of snow and LOTS of apres” type resorts to help you along the way.

Also. I like a punchy review. So …

Here we go:

† Sauze d’Oulx, Italy

“All round good egg”

The Secret Lake

Good Stuff:
  • Reasonably priced lift pass Ä180 for six days.
  • Part of the “Milky Way” five resorts joined together for endless piste.
  • Perfect for intermediates, ample supply of tree lined blue and red runs.
  • Mountain cafes don’t take the piss with their prices.
  • Lively apres with many a happy hour and free monkey nuts.
  • Fun snow park.
  • A really, really beautiful secret lake. Insta heaven.
Less good stuff:
  • Transfer is fairly long… Almost three hours from Milan.
  • Not much ski in or out.
  • A big ass hill to walk up in the resort (but there is a bus)

† Bansko, Bulgaria “Cheap with no frills”

View from a chair lift

Good Stuff:

  • Bulgaria’s biggest ski resort.
  • Cheap, cheap, cheap.
  • Lift pass is a total barg £140 for six days.
  • Beers £1.60 ish a pint.
  • Snow park makes an appearance.
  • A safe feel- no cliff edges or cat tracks.
  • Great resort for beginners or the nervous among us
  • Apres bars buzzin louder than Anne Summers.
  • No ski snobs slagging off their chalet host.
  • Just over 90 min transfer from Sofia Airport.

Less good stuff:

  • Not so picturesque, think vegas comes to a shanty town.
  • Smaller resort if you’re advanced, 14 lifts in total.
  • 15 min (6km) gondola ride to the piste.

Les Deux Alpes, France

“First lift, last orders”

Panobar ... on the mountain

Good Stuff:

  • One of the oldest resorts in France. Fact.
  • Glacier resort, so you can pop back in the summer to feed your snow craving.
  • Strong variety of piste for all.
  • Lifties have more grooming expertise than Jimmy Saville.
  • PANOBAR- #Youtubeit
  • Snow parks, for beginners and experts.
  • Apres- Lots of extra activities, swimming, ice skating, bowling, sledding, night ski.
  • Grenoble transfer 90 mins.
Less good stuff:
  • Lift pass is Ä245 for six days. Gulp.
  • Return to resort via a black, or very narrow and often crowded green.
  • Can be busy… Don’t go in February, lift queues longer than the nose of Farage.

And if all else fails, I hear there’s going to be plenty of†space in America…