Alternative date ideas, because you don’t want to be boring….. So we’re nearing the end of the first month of the new year, you have already cracked open the bottle of wine you left in the fridge thinking you would open it in celebration when you had finished your dry January. Perhaps you deleted Tinder before christmas only to re-download after spending a depressing couple of days during the festive period with your nan asking when you would get a boyfriend….. Well cheer yourself up, get a girl, ignore your nan (she’ll be dead soon anyway so no need to tell her you’re a lesbian) here are a few alternative date ideas or just a few things to keep your mind off the fact you nan might die and you haven’t managed to stick to your new years ressies; Canvas Cafe- ball pit Firstly, there’s nothing us lesbians like more than being surrounded by balls…. we are talking about the plastic variety, you dirty bastards. Head down to Canvas Cafe and dive into a metre deep pit of 24000 BALLS! It’s on until the 19 Feb and tickets cost £5 so get yourself a date quick. Draughts- board game cafe If you have a girl that likes to play games…board games, not crazy head games, then perhaps head to Draughts- a bar and cafe in Haggerston, pay £5 to get in and you can sit and play as many games as you like, whilst sipping on cocktails. They also serve snacks. Why go home? oh, yeah you wanna get lucky, crack on. Be a wine maker Ok, so you want to impress? splash some cash and be a wine maker for the day. This will set you back £125 each, but it’s London’s one and ONLY winery. For this you get to taste and blend, tour the winery, get tasting tricks and tips, experiment with adding acid, tannin and sugar to wine, you get fed and at the end you get to bottle your wine up and take it home! The days 11-4 in West Brompton. www.londoncru.co.uk. Become a swinger…. Want to see a bit more of her? Why not take her to the Circus Experience Day, where wearing tight lycra trousers is compulsory…nah, it isn’t really, but she doesn’t need to know that. This perving and much energetic head standing and swinging takes place at the National Centre for Circus Arts in the trendy Shoreditch for £69. Go for a cocktail after, if your arms are still able to put a drink to your mouth that is…good luck. www.nationalcircus.org.uk. Secret Squirrel- a dining experience with a difference This is the big one, its called the Chamber of Flavours. This is all a little secret, Releasing new tickets at midday on 31st January..hurry! It will take you through ‘five parellel dining realities.’ You will be kept in the dark until 4pm on the day of your booked escapade. To book go to www.chamberofflavours.co.uk. It will be worth it.