Picture this: you find the one. Your friends love her, she’s fun to be around and you just click. But she’s only in town for a while before she heads back to wherever she came from – probably some mystical land where they keep all of the other perfect women. Do you call it quits or do you attempt a long distance relationship?
Even if it didn’t happen quite like that for you, a lot of us have been in long distance relationships. They notoriously suck at times and your friends have possibly had their doubts – even though they definitely didn’t tell you at the time. But LDRs can also be really rewarding and fun if you don’t lose your head about it. So here are five little ways you can keep that romance burning, even from a distance.
1. Check-in regularly
Communication will keep your relationship alive. It doesn’t matter if you talk about a cute cat you saw or have an intense discussion on politics, your relationship will thrive when you talk with them like they only live five minutes away.
Above all, remember to ask them how they are. Even in an LDR, you can get a pretty good read on someone’s mood. If they’re having a shit day, message them, call them, FaceTime them. But also, don’t beat yourself up if you’re hours away and you can’t help as much as you’d like.
2. Give them space
Yeah, it sounds really dumb. Isn’t the 100 miles between you enough space already? Communication is vital to a healthy LDR, but you also need to respect that your gal has a life and isn’t always on call for you. It doesn’t mean she’s found a better option, it just means she’s binge-watching The L Word (again) and she hasn’t checked her messages. A relationship is destined to crash and burn when you don’t let them have their space. We know you miss her but she’ll reply to you eventually, don’t worry.
3. Make a to-do list
When you’re long-distance, it’s so easy to keep thinking of things which you could do together the next time you’re actually together, but you will forget. Make a shared list and then plan these activities into your visits so you can make the most of the time you have together.
Organisation should be a key part of your dynamic. So book that holiday, go to that restaurant and pencil in that festival. Not only will you be seeing your favourite person, you’ll be getting in some photo-ops too! Don’t forget to plan in time to sleep though (and other things…)
4. Don’t deny the difficulties
Don’t be scared to talk about what you need and what you’re having difficulty with in the relationship. Long-distance is unlikely to be plain sailing the whole time, so you have to be willing to talk about what’s not going so well and how you can improve it.
It all ties into communication. If you bottle up your feelings, you won’t fully enjoy the time you do get to spend together and you can end up resenting the other person. Don’t be passive-aggressive, don’t be a bitch, just listen.
5. Put in the legwork
Long train journeys, car rides or even plane trips can be such a drag. If the weather is shit or you’re just tired from work or studying, dragging yourself across the country can feel like a bit of a chore. But you have to remember what it is that you’re making all the effort for.
You have to put in what you expect to get out. If one person gives their all and the other just takes, you’re not going to get very far. But when you both input equally, it can be so rewarding.
Distance doesn’t have to kill your chances with your dream woman so don’t panic. Sometimes it can make you appreciate them even more.
Happy LDRs, ladies…