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Are you in a Golden Retriever / Black Cat relationship?

Are you a lovable, and overly friendly extrovert who always finds themselves falling head of heels for the silent, mysterious, and brooding type? Or you might be the introverted, sarcastic, and introspective type with an inexplicable attraction to those people who seem to reflect sunlight even on the darkest nights. What is it they say again? Opposites attract. The moon needs the sun, the day can’t survive without the night, and the golden retriever needs its black cat by its side. 

If you haven’t heard of the Golden Retriever / Black Cat phenomenon, the term describes a relationship between a friendly, extraverted, energetic golden retriever person and their more reserved, introverted, quiet black cat counterpart. 

black cat in close up photography

The phrase was coined on TikTok a few years back, today it can be found all over the app. But how can you tell if you’re in a Golden Retriever / Black Cat relationship? No need to have a five-hour deep dive on TikTok, Nonchalant’s got you back. We’ve put together 6 signs to look out for in a Golden Retriever / Black Cat relationship.  

@send_us_to_seattle Balance. ✨#lesbiansoftiktok #lesbiancouple #wlw #lesbians #femmes #lesbiancouplegoals #blackcat #goldenretriever ♬ original sound – cinephiles_club

1. One of you might be extroverted, while the other tends to be more introverted. 

The Golden Retriever partner is often an extrovert. They’re the life of the party and recharge their social battery by surrounding themselves with loved ones. Sometimes they can find it hard to understand why the Black Cat partner needs a quieter setting to gather themselves because all they really want is to spend time with you. While the Black Cat can enjoy being social, they can find themselves exhausted after a day surrounded by people. That’s when they’ll need to retreat and enjoy their alone time, this can take many forms depending on your interests and personality (reading, listening to music, gaming…). At the end of the day, all this couple requires is love, balance, and clear boundaries. 

@lizthewiz on TikTok could probably tell us a lot more about this dynamic.

@lizthewiz I just wanna be near youuuuu #nonbinarytiktok #nonbinary #lesbiansoftiktok #lesbian #gaytiktok #queertiktok #masc #gay #lgbt #wlwcouple #wlw #queercouple #lesbiancouple ♬ original sound – Alex and Jon

2. Where the golden retriever girlfriend is friendly and trusting, the black cat girlfriend might be more standoffish and apprehensive.  

    The Black Cat partner will take a while before trusting someone, especially when they think that person might take advantage of the Golden Retriever’s kindness. 

    The Golden Retriever partner sees the best in everyone, they’re positive and bright people who always see the glass as half full. They love meeting new people and are very generous with their trust. They can help the Black Cat with their suspicious, and sometimes vengeful tendencies, while the black cat will protect their other half from dishonest people, as they are often great judges of characters.

    @alevegale Lmao it is what it is.. #🏳️‍🌈 #wlw #lgbt #lgbtq #lesbian #lesbiancouple ♬ original sound – Julesvisions

    3. The Golden Retriever exudes charm and likeability, while the Black Cat can be seen as intimidating.

      With their tendencies for aloofness and sarcastic quips, the Black Cat can be perceived as intimidating. Their confidence, or strong will, can come off as abrasive, however, they’re real marshmallows on the inside. That’s why, the Black Cat cannot help but fall for the effortless charm of the Golden Retriever, who sees through the hard exterior of their favourite feline.  

      The golden retriever could flirt their way out of pretty much any situation. They are the human equivalent of a vitamin D shot, and you can’t help but love them. But above all, they care about people and always make sure their friends and loved ones are being taken care of. 

      @worldofbecandmeg The perfect duo 🤣 #lgbt #couple #blackcatfemme #goldenretrievermasc #relationship #lesbian #lesbiansoftiktok #lesbiandating #relatable #wlw #wlwcouple #lgbtqia #lgbtq🏳️‍🌈 #femlesbian #lesbianrelationship #femmelesbians ♬ Hey Sexy Lady [Feat. Brian & Tony Gold] – Shaggy

      4. The Golden Retriever partner might be the Chatterbox of the duo, while the Black Cat will be more comfortable listening. 

        Golden Retrievers love to be in constant communication with their partner. They want to tell them about their day: the cute pigeon they saw in the park on their, way to work, their well-intended but slightly overbearing manager, the new song that they just discovered on TikTok which reminds them of you.  Of course, the Black Cat will listen, they could listen to their love talk for hours about anything, as long as they get to watch their face light up with excitement. But what’s so special about this dynamic is when the Black Cat opens up and feels comfortable enough to talk the ears off of their Golden Retriever.  Replying to @Jade 🩻 cuties ☹️☹️🫶 #fyp #bound2 #love #goldenretriever #blackcat #personality #lgbtq #wlw #viral #match ♬ bound 2 – FILMSTELLAR

        5. The Black Cat’s playful nature can get on the Golden Retriever’s never. 

          The Black Cat partner loves to tease their partner. They’re very mischievous and will try to push their other half because they know that they can. 

          While the Golden Retriever could get easily annoyed and vexed with their Black Cat, they are not ones to hold grudges. They’ll often see the humour in the other’s cheeky attitude, after all. 

          @worldofbecandmeg Match made in heaven 🤍 #lgbt #couple #relationship #lesbian #lesbiansoftiktok #lesbiandating #relatable #wlw #wlwcouple #lgbtqia #lgbtq🏳️‍🌈 #femlesbian #lesbianrelationship #femmelesbians ♬ original sound – Shayshay

          6. The Black Cat partner tends to calm the Golden Retriever Down 

            The Golden Retriever cares so deeply that they’ll typically find themselves stressed or overwhelmed with a situation. That’s when the ”always cool under pressure” Black Cat can take the time to reassure their loved one and make sure that they can face the problem one step at a time. The energetic Golden Retriever can take their time to relax and breathe with their other half. 

            So, did you find this article helpful? Have you found the Black Cat to your Golden Retriever? 

            If so, don’t hesitate to share your story in the comments, and please let us know if we’ve missed any important signs.

            In the meantime, you can check out our article on understanding love languages as a lesbian woman.


            Team Nonchalant X 

            Elisa Muller
            Elisa Muller

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