In the sixth instalment of our series on ‘coming out stories’, we caught up with one of the Nonchalant contributors. Asking what it was like for them growing up questioning their sexuality and how they ‘came out.’
I never had a big realization about my sexuality; I think I always suspected I wasn’t completely straight, but since I always ended up dating boys I never had to have any frank conversations about it. Looking back now it seems obvious why I was so drawn to certain characters from movies and tv shows and why I got very attached to some of the girls I had friendships with growing up. I was always the cliche tomboy child, clinging to trees and never wanting to wear ‘girly’ clothes or go shopping. When I was about 13 I watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show at a friend’s house and it blew my little pre-pubescent mind! I definitely pinpoint watching all the cast members dancing about in corsets and high heels as a defining moment in my teen years; the film showed me that sexuality and gender can be fluid and changing and it was completely acceptable and badass!
When I became single again in my early twenties I decided to open up more about my sexuality in my dating life and with friends and found myself very secure and happy in my identity; dating men and women felt totally right and accepting that made me so much more confident in my own skin and the way I present to people.
I only ‘came out’ to my family recently and it was completely by chance; I had to provide my Dad with answers to the Census questions, one of which was about how you would describe your sexuality. Without skipping a beat I told him: ‘You can put down “Bisexual”’. There was a brief pause and then ‘Okay’ and on to the next question! If my parents were surprised they didn’t let on and I feel lucky knowing that they have always been accepting of me and my choices; I’m sure they would welcome any person I’m dating with open arms, regardless of gender/sexual preference – as long as they’re not an asshole!
– Anon, 26
If you are struggling and need some support please reach out, below are a list of helplines and websites you can visit;
Stonewall – you can visit their website or call on FREEPHONE 0800 0502020, lines are open 9:30-4:30.
Switchboard LGBT + Helpline – 0300 330 0630 lines open 10-10 daily.
The Mix – call their helpline on 0808 808 4994.