Navigating the sea of terms and expressions in the queer and lesbian community can be mind-blowing. There seem to be hundreds of different terms these days for all types of lesbian scenarios, dating expressions, types of gays, and moments. Whether you’re a seasoned queer linguist or just starting your journey, this glossary is your go-to guide for decoding the baby gays’ lingo. But if you spot anything that’s not on the list, let us know and we’ll have it added.
Chapstick Lesbian
A “chapstick lesbian” is a casual and slangy way to describe a lesbian who leans towards a more laid-back and understated style, often eschewing the stereotypical markers of ultra-femininity. This type of lesbian may prefer a more natural look, opting for comfort over high-maintenance fashion.
Lipstick Lesbian
A “lipstick lesbian” is a way to describe a lesbian whose style embraces a more traditionally feminine and glamorous aesthetic. These girlies slay in the fashion department, often opting for chic and polished looks, and they aren’t afraid to rock a bold lip colour – hence the “lipstick” in the name.
Baby Gay | Baby Dyke
A “baby gay” is a term used to describe someone who is relatively new to the LGBTQ+ community, particularly those who have recently come out or discovered their sexual orientation.
Pillow Princess
A “pillow princess” is a term often used in the lesbian community to describe someone who enjoys receiving pleasure during intimate activities but may not actively reciprocate or participate in giving.
Top
A person who prefers to take on the role of the giver rather than the receiver during sex. They may be more dominant or take on a more active role in a sexual encounter. While terms like top and bottom are commonly used among gay men, they differ in the WLW community.
WLW
“WLW” stands for “women who love women.” It’s a term that’s inclusive of all romantic and/or sexual relationships between women. So, whether it’s lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, or any other identity where women are loving women, you’ve got it covered with “WLW.”
Femme
A “femme” is a term used to describe individuals who embrace a more traditionally feminine gender expression and presentation.
High Femme
A “high femme” refers to individuals who fully embrace an extremely feminine and glamorous gender expression.
Gay Panic
The term “Gay Panic” in the queer community is when you feel panic around someone of the same sex because you are attracted to them.
Gold Star
The term “gold star” is used to describe someone who has never had sexual or romantic experiences with someone of the opposite gender. You would have heard it in the original The L Word. However, some find it offensive as it is seen that it might create a hierarchy.
Golden Retriever
The term “golden retriever lesbian” is a playful and affectionate way to describe a type of lesbian within the LGBTQ+ community. It’s a term that conveys warmth, friendliness, and a positive, easygoing attitude. They are willing to do anything for their girlfriend, hence being like a golden retriever dog.
Black Cat
The term “Black Cat” refers to a girlfriend that has tendencies like a black cat. This is a girl that has a more mean girl, femme, sexy, mysterious and unfair style.
Stem
A “stem” lesbian is someone who embraces both feminine and masculine qualities in their gender expression. The term is an abbreviation of “stem,” which stands for “stud-femme.” This means that a stem lesbian may have a mix of traditionally masculine and feminine characteristics in their appearance, style, and behaviour.
Transgender | Trans
“Trans” is short for “transgender.” Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. For example, someone who was assigned female at birth but identifies and lives as a man is a transgender man. Likewise, someone who was assigned male at birth but identifies and lives as a woman is a transgender woman.
Stud
A “stud” is a term within the black lesbian community. A Black masculine identifying lesbian. It’s sometimes used alongside butch, however, some feel this term is exclusive for the black community.
Butch
A “butch” is a term often used in lesbian and queer communities to describe individuals who present themselves in a way that is traditionally associated with masculinity.
Bisexual
“Bisexuality” is a sexual orientation characterized by romantic or sexual attraction to both men and women.
Masc
In lesbian slang, “masc” is short for “masculine” or “masculine-presenting.” It’s often used to describe someone who presents themselves in a more traditionally masculine way, whether in appearance, style, or behaviour. For example, a “masc lesbian” might prefer to dress in a more traditionally masculine manner or have mannerisms that are perceived as more typically masculine
U-Haul
“U-hauling” is a slang term often used in the LGBTQ+ community, particularly among lesbians, to describe the rapid pace at which some couples move in together or become deeply committed to each other early in a relationship. The term is derived from the stereotype that lesbians tend to move in together quickly, similar to the way people rent a U-Haul truck for moving.
Bi-Erasure
“Bi-erasure” refers to the tendency to ignore, deny, or minimize the existence of bisexuality or bisexual individuals. One example could be assuming a person is either gay or straight. Bi-erasure can have significant negative effects on bisexual individuals, including feelings of invisibility, invalidation of their identity, and a lack of representation and support.
Enby | NB
“Enby” is derived from the abbreviation NB, which stands for non-binary. Non-binary is an umbrella term for gender identities that don’t exclusively align with the traditional binary concept of male or female. Individuals who identify as non-binary may experience a gender identity that is fluid, outside the conventional categories, or a combination of both. Enby is often used as a casual and affirming shorthand for non-binary, providing a more colloquial and friendly way to refer to someone whose gender identity falls outside the binary spectrum.
Celesbian
A “Celesbian is a lesbian who is a celebrity.
Dopplebanger
A “dopplebanger” is a person who is attracted to people that look like themselves.
100 Footer
A “100 Footer” is Someone that is very clearly gay, that you can tell from 100 feet away.
Bed Death
“Bed Death” or “Lesbian Bed Death” is a term that’s thrown around in the lesbian world to describe when your sex life dies in a relationship.
Clam Jam
A “Clam Jam” is the women’s version of a cock block. When someone is preventing you from pulling someone, either on purpose or by accident.
Sapphic
“Sapphic” is a term that originates from the Greek poet Sappho, who lived on the island of Lesbos around 600 BCE. Today, “Sapphic” is used as an adjective to describe things related to lesbians, lesbian culture, or same-sex female relationships. It can refer to literature, art, or any other form of expression that celebrates or explores the experiences of women who love women. So, when someone talks about “Sapphic literature,” they’re referring to writings that focus on lesbian themes or relationships.
FLINTA*
“FLINTA*” is a German abbreviation that stands for “Frauen, Lesben, Intergeschlechtliche, nichtbinäre, trans und agender Personen,” which translates to women/females, lesbians, intersex, non-binary, trans, and agender individuals. The asterisk is used to encompass all non-binary gender identities.
CisHet
A “CisHet” is someone who is cisgender (someone whose internal sense of gender corresponds with the sex the person was identified as having at birth) and heterosexual.
Stone Butch
“Stone Butch” is a lesbian who has a high masculine identity and also some may prefer not to be touched sexually.
Dom Fem
“Dom fems” are femme lesbians who possess a dominant energy. Someone who is feminine in their appearance but is more of the dominant one in the relationship, and perhaps the bedroom too (sounds good to us).
And there we have it, lesbian slang and info on terms that the queer community use often. If we’ve missed anything then let us know by commenting below.
Team Nonchalant x
This article was written by one of our creative team writers here at Nonchalant Magazine.
You forgot zaddy
How interesting