Okay, a bit of a risque article from us… but for one reason or another we’ve all needed to know the best hotels in London to suit our needs – whether you’re trying to impress a new woman in your life, you fancy a bit of an outrageous city break to London, or you’re treating your long term wifey to that well deserved, distraction-free, naughty weekend away, we have a perfect hotel in London for you. If you fit into any or all of those categories then this article is for you, my friend!
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From views across the city to hot tubs and quirky extras, you’ll find our top London hotels to have sex in below…enjoy.
The Exhibitionist Hotel
Kensington | £££
This hotel definitely had to be our number one listing and in particular the “Drop Dead Gorgeous Splash Suite” which comes with your very own hot tub in the suite – whaaaat. It definitely ticks the “show off” box if you’re trying to impress the new gal in your life. This particular suite is £260-280 per night.
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Dean Street Townhouse
Oxford Circus | £££
Now this one is EXPENSIVE but worth us putting on the list for you ballers out there. The Dean Street Townhouse is part of the Soho House group and has 39 gorgeous Georgian townhouse bedrooms. But if you wanna be a pimp then you need to book the rooms with bathtubs – but we’re talking £300+ per night.
Kensington | £££
Incredibly romantic with dramatic yet classy decor, Blakes is a definite winner to impress your date. Be sure to book the Luxury suite or above to guarantee a jaw-dropping room, however…you’ll have to say goodbye to £340+ per night….she better be worth it pal!
Townhall Hotel | Bethnal Green |££
Bethnal Green | ££
For the East London lovers, the Townhall Hotel in Bethnal Green is exactly what you need to show the girl in question you’ve got taste. Not only are the bathrooms gorgeous with big baths and glass walls, but you also get a whole apartment to spread out in and play wifeys for the weekend. Apartments are approx £150+ a night.
Shangri La The Shard
London Bridge | ££££££
LOL. A joke entry from us on this one because it’s so fucking expensive that if you’re considering taking a girl here she better be Jennifer Lawrence. Shangri La provides the most incredible panoramic views of London and if you’re rich enough to stay in one of the rooms then all we have to say is … take us, please? The best rooms are £700-£1000+ per night. If you’re sadly not that loaded then don’t fret, you can still take your mrs up the shard (whey, couldn’t resist) and see the gorgeous views of London for a fraction of the price – tickets for this are £25.95 per person.
The Hoxton Hotel
Shoreditch | £££
A classic Shoreditch trendy (yea, we said “trendy”) hotel. It’s a no-thrills choice from us but the decor sets the mood for sure. Check out their ‘Concept’ rooms for something a little different. Plus you’re in Shoreditch so you can pretend you’re a pretentious hipster…win! All for £150-£230 per night.
Farringdon | £££
Ummm hello bathtub on the roof… perhaps a bit chilly, but who gives two fucks when you’re sipping Nyetimber Classic from said bathtub like a legend yo. The Zetter has a selection of incredible rooftop rooms with outdoor bathtubs and panoramic views of the London skyline. Plus they regularly run discount deals so check back on the link below for great offers!
Treehouse Hotel London
Marylebone | ££££
This hotel is pretty interesting and different. It’s located right in the action of Marylebone, so if you’re coming to London for a weekend city break then you’re near all the central sites. What makes this one so interesting are the views from the room, but also the cool decor. It’s reasonably pricey at approx £400-£500 per night.
High Road House
Chiswick | ££££
High Road House is an elegant choice but a little heads up is that you do need to be a member of Soho House in order to stay here. The bedrooms are decorated to a high standard with rooms that have bathtubs.
The Corner London City
Tower Hamlets | £££
This is a fun and quirky hotel, if you’re that type of couple who likes a bit of fun and colour then this is the one for you. It is still a high-ish price point, but in a good location and has super interesting decor.
Enjoy your evening,
Team Nonchalant x
Last Updated on 15th November 2023 by Nonchalant Magazine